Last week a friend of mine asked me for my take on the recently posted, widely viewed clip of actress and “That 70s Show”-dating-situation-come-to-life Mila Kunis doing a comedy bit on how men should stop saying “We are pregnant”. In the bit, she frustratedly gets on to men for saying this phrase because no, they are not pregnant, and thus don’t go through any of the things women go through during pregnancy – like carrying around a watermelon-sized person in your stomach or crying by yourself over songs you’re embarrassed to be crying over in the first place. (Like a Led Zeppelin song – because how does that even happen?)
As I thought about my personal opinion on the matter during an extremely overdue moment of alone time, I basically concluded that Kunis’ bit was funny like it was supposed to be, and that I’m not at all sensitive to or offended by men saying “We are pregnant”. In fact, when my husband and I were making our trickster German/English pregnancy announcement video, we almost said “Wir sind schwanger!” which translates to “We are pregnant!” in English. We decided not to say it though, not because I thought Will was trying to hog all the pregnancy glory, but because we thought it would be funnier if I just made the announcement by myself. You can decide for yourself if you like:
I did, however, come up with a new take on the entire “we are pregnant” ordeal that I think is differently phrased from the questions presented in this article, and that is:
True, the guys aren’t pregnant. But aren’t they sort of?
Here’s my reasoning. Our guys’ lives change the second that test reads positive just the same as ours. Sure, we’re the ones throwing up, but they’re the ones cleaning it up, which is not exactly glorious. Their diets change with ours because if they walk in with one piece of food (like onion or garlic) that to us smells like feet and might trigger another episode of morning sickness, they not only get in trouble, but have to get out the carpet cleaner and paper towels for the 5th time that day. Their emotions change with ours because our emotions are random and extreme and we want (or demand) them to be on the same page. Our emotions are a giant guessing game. One minute we really, really want to watch that one movie, and the next we can’t believe we watched it for more than 5 minutes because GREAT, now we’re crying again. Many times my poor Will has gone from “But I thought you wanted to watch this movie!” to “You’re right. This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen and we’ll never watch it again!” even when we’ve seen it 10 times already. I keep him on his toes.
Restless nights, extreme hunger, extreme thirst, extreme itchiness and extreme exhaustion – the guys are there for all of it. We may be growing the watermelon-sized person, but the guys help us survive the growing.