The 4-1-1 On Baby, Baby Names And Chicken

Making pregnancy look good.
Making pregnancy look GOOD.

Despite all the heartburn, leg cramps/restlessness and occasional ferocious hunger, baby Kooi has been treating me pretty well. Will and I have both felt baby’s little kicks and seen it travel to and fro. I like to think baby is speaking beautiful, loving things to me via hiccup-burp-sigh, or “the 1-2-3” as Will calls it. Seriously, at any given moment in the day, without fail, I hiccup then burp then sigh one right after the other. With no volume control. It’s very rhythmic now that I think about it. Foreshadowing baby Kooi’s future as a musician?

Another pregnancy symptom I’d like to add to the already lengthy list of symptoms I read about in my books is what I call “THERE’S A HUMAN IN HERE Syndrome”. It’s when you don’t entirely forget you’re having a baby yet experience random moments throughout the week when you suddenly realize what having a baby means. Symptoms of this particular syndrome may include:

– a tingling sensation in the face
– dizziness
– awkward, frightened laughter
– 5 minutes of gawking at your large stomach
– a strong need to lie down
– crying during your 5th search for more food

THERE’S A HUMAN IN HERE Syndrome doesn’t visit me often, but it did visit last Saturday in the middle of a lunch with a friend. Luckily I kept it together and ate my weight in stuffed peppers instead.

cribWith our trip back to the States just around the corner, we’ve kept busy and accomplished a good amount on behalf of baby Kooi. We’ve put together the crib, accumulated some clothes and toys from various families, picked a hospital, but we’re still stuck on names. Well we have a girl name – it’s the boy name we’re stuck on. See the problem with being a teacher is you meet tiny little boy monsters year after year whose only goal is to torment you and do terrible little boy monster things like hit the girls in your classroom or kick your shins or pour an entire bottle of Elmer’s glue on your new teacher clothes. And so you wind up with 30 pages worth of boys’ names that you could absolutely, never ever  name your future son, and it takes you forever to pick a name that has not scarred you for life.

Furthermore, dating was a mistake and adds to the difficulty of finding a boy name. Really just conversing with boys in life was a mistake and I now wish I had known it would strongly affect naming our children. If we have like, 3 boys, I don’t know what we’ll do. Probably just name them all after cartoon characters. Hello world, here are our 3 boys – Spongebob, Squidward and Mr. Crabs. It’s the best we could do.

We find out the baby’s gender on May 13th which feels like it’s taking ages to get here, yet May 15th – the date we leave for the States – feels like it’s just around the corner. The closer our trip back to the U.S. gets, the more I dream about Chik-fil-a. The nuggets, the waffle fries, the sweet tea… Good heavens. I am of course without a doubt thrilled to see my friends and family, but, Chik-fil-a. I need it – in my belly – as soon as possible. I told Will I might even cry when I finally make it to the counter to order. He said he’d prefer that I not do that, but I just feel like I can’t make that promise being the pregnant, emotional and hungry lady that I am right now.

Be sure to stop by here next week to make your baby Kooi gender guess!


  1. THERE’S A HUMAN IN HERE Syndrome-Perfect, perfect name.

    1. Author

      It came to me during one of my mini freak out sessions.

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