4 Hair-Fixing Possibilities

Upon further review of yesterday’s unfortunate hair cut, following a good morning’s washing/drying/attempted straightening, it seems not only did this gentle soul of a woman cut off half of my hair length, but also gifted me with an 80s style-lady rock star mullet. I find this regrettable as it is almost 2014 not 1984, I am not a lady rock star (though whenever I listen to Pat Benatar I desperately wish I was), and because mullet.

At this point I’ve almost given up hope on finding a Viennese or even a European version of my amazing Oklahoman hairstylist. Maybe she does exist and I just haven’t found her due to my refusal to cough up what I consider to be an unrealistic amount of money for a “real” haircut. But I guess this is what happens here when that money isn’t coughed up: a real life hair tail.

The way I see it, I have a few different options but need help deciding the right course of action:

1. Wear my hair tail in a ponytail until it grows out of its mulletness.

2. Save up for a real hair cut and do away with my Linda McCartney mullet, resulting in very short hair all over again but hey, it’s better than a mullet, and were she still living Linda would probably agree that.

3. Rock the mullet. (Obviously this is a joke and if you recommend this option I’ll be forced to unfriend you for ….5 years. Yeah 5 years should do it.)

4. Blame the US government shutdown because that’s what Facebook says to do. #shutdown

So uh… Help please.

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