Well folks, it would appear that, at least as far as the Oklahoma City Thunder is concerned, the NBA Draft didn’t do any serious damage this year. Though a nasty “Kendrick Perkins-may-be-traded” rumor spread around like wildfire with much support from fans who simply don’t understand the man’s unique gift to the team, I can thankfully continue to wear all of my Perk gear (as far as I know) this season. Before the Draft came to a close, I wrote a heartfelt letter to the Draft addressing my concerns and issues with, you know, how it works. The post would have gone up yesterday, but then I wrote something for the Paul McCartney concert and here we are. Here’s my letter to the NBA Draft, and let’s hope I don’t have to write another one for the 2014 NBA Season.
Dear NBA Draft,
Why are you so mean? Do you enjoy being the way you are – hurting people all the time, tossing them aside, out into the world like an unwanted banana peel? I’ve only recently been really into you, and honestly I feel like you’ve dropped the ball and aren’t returning the love. What’s up with that, Draft?
Hey, don’t get a big head about it. It took me awhile to be the least bit interested in you. In fact not only did I used to dislike you, but I disliked the entire franchise you represent, mainly because every time I wanted myself some chicken wings, each chicken wing-making restaurant in the city was jam packed with your attentive fans screaming at your friend, Basketball Game. All I wanted was some wings, man! But alas, I fell in love with Basketball Game and soon discovered for myself how well chicken wings and all things basketball go together. Suddenly my closet was filled with basketball merch, my Twitter feed filled with players and reporters, my heart filled with love for my very favorite basketball player.
But you wouldn’t know anything about love, would you Draft? The only things you seem to know about and appear to be excelling at are betrayal and deception. I turned my back for one second and somehow you took that as a green light to potentially trade my favorite player? How do you sleep at night? I know I don’t, because only you would cause me to wake up at 5:30am Central European Time to check the current status of my player on Twitter. The only people who are allowed to wake me up at this ridiculous hour are my husband in times of emergency, and my cat because, well, because he’s a cat and doesn’t know any better! But you, Draft, you know better, and we both know the importance of keeping a basketball family together through the good and the bad.
Sure, my guy messed up a few times this season. But he did his best, and isn’t that the important thing to remember – that he did his best? I’m pleading with you, Draft. Stop this nonsensical rumor and leave my basketball man alone. What will I do with my shirts that have his name stamped all over them? How will I happily wear my beloved TOMS around knowing that my number one isn’t part of the team anymore? Have you once stopped to think about MY feelings in all of this? Stop looking at the paychecks and ask yourself if all of this tomfoolery is really worth it.
You know what… I’m sorry. I’ve been really harsh to you which doesn’t help the situation. I react with anger when I’m scared, you know? Just consider every available option, and remember me and all of the other basketball lovers out there who currently biting their nails off as we wait for your future decisions concerning our favorite players. Deep down we care about you; we just ask that you care about us in return.
With Anxiety-Filled Love,
A Die Hard Kendrick Perkins Fan, #5 Forever